Hello, “My name is Carter” “I am Annie” I reply with a smile at such gorgeous pack of testosterone, maka Chukwu I had no idea melanin deficient folk could be this handsome, “Chai” I screamed in my mind. My decision to come study in the US wasn’t that bad a decision after all.
“Where ‘re you from.” “ Am from Africa” I replied shyly, hoping he hadn’t caught my eyes looking down at his cojones. “You are from here yea?” I asked trying to mimic this Oyibo(White folk) accent, He smiled in concord, and just as I was approaching climax in my sexual bout with him, 50 shades style in my head, he said “ Africa must be such a large country, I mean I have met so many people from Africa”
A pause sign emerged in my imaginative screen similar to that of a VLC player, “the fuck” I said, now in my Igbo accent, not giving a rat’s ass about trying to blend in. Victoria, my roommate must have gotten the hang of what was about to go down, as she was trying to pull me away before my mouth exploded and caused a scene, but she was too late.
“Such a waste of clay” I said, “You mean as handsome as you are, you’ve got nothing but cobwebs in that big head of yours? How can Africa be a country you dumbass. nnekwa Ngwere ra ka gi (Such a big lizard)”
I opened my eyes, and realised where I was, slowly comporting myself, I walked out the room, Victoria behind, “excuse me” I said to the lady at the door now in my ever-elusive American accent…
Please people for fucks sake, Africa is a continent, one of the biggest for that matter. It’s also where your dumbass ancestors originated from, so please stop being a dumbass and get your facts right.
Annie the Nigerian
The opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect or represent the views of Urban Anna Mae.